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DebateGrate | Political Voiceovers
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GOP_2016_Debate-0e593

 

Debates bring out the killer instinct in some people. Particularly in moderators who are just as worried about their numbers as the candidates.

Ya gotta love those moments when the TV head strafes a candidate and then sits there serenely getting flamed for asking the question, let alone an answer.  So now we’re vetting the questioners and the networks. Who’ll rise to respectability and who’ll win on entertainment value?

Here’s some questions I’d like to ask — if the candidates were legally required to answer them directly:

Sir, are you able to detail the literal steps you would take to deport 10 million people within the first months of your presidency or will you once again revert to answering with a simple “Trust me, it’ll happen”?

Do you believe that by winning the oil field discovery lottery, the positive numbers in your state revenue could be duplicated in states without magically appearing commodities?

How exactly would a no-fly zone work over Syria, in light of their possessing state-of-the-art anti-aircraft gunnery and aircraft and the obvious wherewithal to use it?

By eliminating hundreds of wasteful spending federal agencies, do you believe each state would be able to then equal or surpass similar schooling, rights and subsistence programs?

OK, wait.

C’mon, wouldn’t it be more fun to persist with the facebook-style stuff? Let’s get the answers Americans crave:

Governor, isn’t this about the family promising it’s your turn?

Governor, if you’re going to persist in throwing your weight around, don’t you think it might be a good idea to be in good enough shape to not get winded after the first ten seconds?

Sir, besides Muslims, in what order would other religions would be on your no-president list? How about your vice-presidential list?

Ma’am, why haven’t we seen the merest hint of sexual innuendo in all of the released super-secret emails between you and your husband?

Dude, you’re obviously cute enuf to be president, but are you buff enuf?

Sir, your suggestion of the federal legalization of weed suggests you may have made it when you yourself were high. Are you, like, right now?

Guys, if we turned this whole evening into a caged wrestling match and only let the last three who were still standing out, who would it be and would anyone like to throw the first body slam before the bell?

Line forms right down the center aisle…

And American Electorate, if we reminded you all that there’s still a full year of this campaign coming, except it’ll be getting more intense by the week, who’d like to sign up for priority seating for a substantial non-refundable fee right now?

Senator, any final thoughts before we never pay attention to you again?

-JM

james@voiceoverla.com